Though she’s only four months old and has a vocabulary of only a few dozen words, Windy Day has decided to challenge Dear Abby and Miss Manners by launching her own periodic advice column. Below, she answers the first letters from MadeByMark.com readers. These are her exact answers; I do not edit them in any way.
Q: My daughter is advanced for her age, but is proving difficult to potty train. Any suggestions?
A: Go outside. Outside! Do your business. Good.
Q: I’m focusing on my health more, but struggling to lose weight, even on the low-carb regimen. Any advice for me?
A: Jump up. Jump down. No biting! No eat!
Q: I feel frantic at work — really stressed. I’m curious about meditation. Where do I begin?
A: Sit. Sit. Stay.
Q: I just heard this year’s must-have toy is at a Wal-Mart forty miles from my house. Is it silly for me to drive all that way for a toy?
A: Get it! Go get a toy! Bring it to me!
Q: I think my girlfriend is cheating on me.
A: Drop it! Drop it!